My beautiful armor bearer.

"Do all that you have in mind," his armor-bearer said. "Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul."

So this verse comes from 1 Samuel 14. 

Saul is king of Israel right now and he's getting ready to take on the Philistines, an army of 30,000 chariots, 6,000 men on horses and innumerable foot soldiers, with only 600 men with two swords and garden tools. 

HOLY COW. That's insane. I mean, Saul's people must have been TERRIFIED. 


And in the midst of all this fear and chaos, Saul's son, Jonathan looks at his armor bearer and says: “Come, let’s go over to the Philistine outpost on the other side,” Then leaves without telling his dad.

This young man and his young armor bearer leave behind the small army that they do have to try and conquer the Philistine army by themselves! Is anyone freaking out right now? I sure am.

 

 I think, just in case, I should define what an armor bearer is.. They're really intense people.

An armor bearer, in so many words, is a soldier's right hand man. It was the armor bearer's job to shield the soldier when needed, handle the warrior's weapons, prepare and serve food to the soldier, provide medical care to the warrior when injured and much more. An armor bearer was at his soldier's side at all times guarding and taking care of him. That sounds like an extremely close, intimate and trusted friendship. 


And as Jonathan directs his armor bearer to go and try to defeat a huge chunk of a massive army by themselves, you know what his armor bearer's response is?

"Do all that you have in mind. Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul."

oeisfjdkslidfjpsdojfnkaledfjhsdoifa;jdfhj!!


That one line just hits me so so hard in the chest. 
What a beautiful, crazy friendship.

Do you guys have a friend who would look you in the eye as you suggest doing something CRAZY stupid and say: "Go ahead and do it. But you won't be alone in this because I am behind you 100% percent,"?

I do, and her name is Lucy Hayes. 

She is the best  friend anyone could ever ask for.
I am seriously so blessed by her everyday. Although we haven't know each other since birth or faced an entire army by ourselves, I've grown so much because of my friendship with you. She challenges me to dream big dreams, push farther and harder into my relationship with God, and supports me when I have to make tough sacrifices and decisions in my life.

She is that friend that when I suggest something crazy to, like, face an entire army by myself crazy, she just looks at me, smiles and says: "Let's do this. Do all the you have in mind, Nikki. I am with you fully. Heart and soul." 


BUT, you know what the best part of the whole story in Samuel is? The fact that they win. 

God saw their faith and dedication to fight for Him and with each other and blessed that. Many Philistines fell by the hands of Jonathan and his armor bearer that day. In 1 Samuel 14 it says, 'So on that day the Lord saved Israel, and the battle moved on beyond Beth Aven."

Same goes to me and my battles because of Lucy.

So much success and victory in my life has come from her encouraging me in my faith and life. 
When I can't carry on or I don't have enough faith in God, she stands there with me and picks me up and borrows me some of her faith. 

AHHH, I've just been feeling so so so so thankful for Lucy lately.  I am SO blessed to have her.
And I want to encourage all of you to find yourself an armor bearer and pursue God together with the hearts, faith, bravery and recklessness that Jonathan and his armor bearer had and did.

Find someone special and do life with them. I can't even begin to list the rewarding things that come out of having a radical best friend like that.
Don't do this crazy thing called life alone.
I believe we are all meant to have an armor bearer in life, you dig?


Anyways. Lucy, this is for you. I love you. Thank you for everything.

Free Fallin'

5 months ago I was a student at North Central University majoring in Pastoral Studies and ASL Interpreting. I was going to be there for 5 + years, but after I graduated I would have two degrees and I would find a job, do the whole career thing, make some money, hopefully get married, and kick some major butt in the ministry world.

3 months ago I felt God tell me that I wasn't to return to North Central next year and I was going to enter into some sort of bible college or discipleship school after I finished two semesters of North central. But I was going to go the the bible school/DTS after my year at NCU, learn something important and then kick butt in the ministry world.

10 days ago I felt God lead me to drop out of NCU and not even return for the Spring semester. 

Now I'm a 19 year old "college drop out" that doesn't know what she's doing. For the first time in a very very long time, if not ever, I don't have a plan for the immediate.

I feel absolutely crazy.

I hate the place I'm at right now. I would love to be at college right now with the people I fell in love with last semester and learning about things that I'm crazy interested in. I would also love to fast forward a few months and be at whatever program I'm at, learning and interning at a church and meeting new people. 

But in the midst of it all, I'm also so so so full of joy and satisfaction because I'm confidence that I'm chasing after God and His will with all my heart.
For the first time in my life I'm actually putting actions to my words when I say I want to be boldly and recklessly obedient to the Lord.

I'm allowing God to take control of my life and following not the plans that I have, but the plans HE has.


Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

 And Philippians 1:6 says, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

 These two verses have never meant more to me than now.

God has plans for me, for us! And the plans He has for us are the incredible, and not something to be afraid of. If I am obedient and willing to put aside the desires I have for my life and allow God to steer me, my future is full hope and prosperity in Him. If I follow Him, I will be okay. I'll be right where He wants me. And like we've all heard before: Being in the will of God is the safest place in the world to be.

But when I'm feeling doubtful, or scared, or when I worry I made the wrong decision, I can trust that whatever God has started in me, no matter what, He will see it out to completion. God will not forsake me and leave me hanging. As much as I want to arrive at my future, God does too. He he'll see to it that I do.

I can't know for sure where I'll be tomorrow, next month, or next year.

But I have to remember to not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

God has plans for me, and he will see them out to completion. He knows my future, I don't.

Therefore the only role that I have in my future, is the decisions I make right now. The role that I have in my future is listening and discerning what God has for me to do right now, and then doing it faithfully.

Trusting God is to take the next step and not worry too much about what he has in store for us later. If we listen now and fall in line with His will now, we'll get to where He wants us to be. 

5 months ago, I was writing my future.

3 months ago I began to allow God to edit it.

10 days ago I gave God the pen.

right now, I'm just listening to Him read what he's written.

Here I go!